Saturday, September 19, 2009

Parent's Nightmare

The nightmare started about 2 p.m. Sunday when Ray Jasper of Niagara Falls, New York, while on a family camping trip, got an urgent message from a family liaison from his son's unit in the 82nd Airborne Division, based in Fort Bragg, North Carolina. When he reached the liaison - she told him she had a "red line message" that she needed to read to him verbatim.
"She said, 'I'm sorry to inform you that on Sept. 12, that Sgt. Judin and Sgt. Jesse Jasper were killed in Afghanistan,"' Ray Jasper recounted.

"My wife, Robin, was talking to me at the time and I said, 'say that again,' and she said the same thing over again. I couldn't say any more. I hit the floor," he said.


Jasper knew the military's policy is to notify families in person when a soldier has been killed. The Jaspers were given a number to call for details but decided they would not dial it until after making the trip home and assembling other family members. As family and friends gathered, others posted condolence messages on Facebook. The Jaspers and their extended family spent four hours mourning Jesse before they got another call. Jesse's girlfriend in North Carolina saw the postings and called the Jaspers.

"She started screaming at me, 'He's not dead! He's not dead!"' Jasper said. "I said, 'How do you know this?' She said, 'I just got off the phone with him."'

Shortly after this the 26 year old soldier called his family from Aghanistan to prove he was still alive."Dad, what's going on?"the distant voice asked.
"Oh, my God, you really are alive!"said his dad. "I love you! I love you! I love you! You're alive!"

This mistake was inexcusable. It shouldn't happen again. People can't sustain that kind of emotional shock. Discovering he was alive was as much of a shock as the death announcement. Older parents could have heart attacks if they got calls from supposedly dead children.

A spokesman for the 82nd Airborne Division said the liason callers are instructed to read from a written script to prevent misinterpretation.They notify all families of a death within the unit.
In this case, families were being notified of the death of Sgt. Tyler Judin, a 23-year-old from Winfield, Kansas, killed in action. Somehow, information got confused.

The family liaison said she was not able to read the complete message before the call to the Jaspers was terminated. The whole message included when and where services would be held for Tyler.
"I don't know why they would tell us about someone else's tragedy," said Ray Jasper.

The unit is reviewing how it delivers information to families.It proposes to eliminate military jargon like"red line message." Everyone knows what that means and believes the worst right away.
I think it's traumatic enough to have a son or daughter engaged in combat, thousands of miles from home, without getting false death announcements.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:59:00 PM

    What was a terrible nightmare for the parents and their family.
    The military's policy is to notify the families in person, in case of death.
    This is happening much to often to families across the states.
    It was nice of Mr.Jasper to share with the public, so many families just want to put it behind them.
    There are suppose to be a certain office or group to handle such delicate matters and should be well trained.
    After all the tears and getting angry, I know the Jasper's was very happy indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous6:03:00 PM

    Just want to say hi, I will be out tonight.
    Hope your day was good and your weather nice.
    Mine is still over-cast, but hope the storms are gone for a while.
    Have a great one.......CC

    ReplyDelete

Through this ever open gate
None come too early
None too late
Thanks for dropping in ... the PICs