Wednesday, July 22, 2009

15 Things Men Need to Know About Women


1) We do want to know the story of your life.We just don't want to see it tatooed on your chest (names, dates,that sort of thing).
2) When you call us bitch, we take it to mean strong, opinionated and sassy.When you call us the 'C' word you better cross the street for your own safety.
3) Always buy a card (easy,huh?)
4) We're just getting used to the idea of you getting manicures. We'll never get used to the idea of buffed or polished nails.
5) Lose the boxer shorts once in a while and treat us to some Calvin Klein boxer briefs. This may lead to sex, or at least, a promise.
6) The balding thing? No big deal. If we loved men based on the state of their hair, we'd all be Lesbians.
7) We're not okay with you poking other women on Facebook.
8) If you're poking other women ,it better be on Facebook.
9) No matter how close you think we've become, it's never appropriate to mention the current state of our menstrual cycle.
10) We know about the porn in your sock drawer, and we're okay with it.If we weren,t it wouldn't be there.
11) Sometimes we need comforting, without a barrage of questions, just a hug.(not sex)
12) It's not funny when you pass gas that smells like something died. Please refrain from laughing while we're gasping for oxygen. (Well,once in a while it's funny,but not in company)
13) Jokes that demean women (and you all tell them) should not be told in our presence.
14) A spontaneous gift, just because you love us will probably get you sex.
15)When you throw your dirty socks, underwear, smelly sports equipment all around the house and leave wet drink rings on the furniture (not to mention the condition you leave the bathroom in) worlds collide. A woman's essentially orderly, clean world collides with a man's sloppy, smelly world and you have chaos that throws us out of our comfort zone. We don't need you to become fussy old women,but if we see even the slightest effort to put your things away or your clothes in the hamper we'll be happy and (if you play your cards right) it could lead to sex.
Guys , I'm trying to help you through the maze of female emotions, likes and dislikes. Consider it a necessary part of your education or survival knowledge.
I will expand on the list as time goes by and remember, a lot of these tips could get you some nice hot sex. Now that's worth paying attention for.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5:33:00 PM

    Oh yeah..all those things are important the men would be better off if they pay attention..get hot sex...you betcha..no shorts/briefs at all,just naked and let the dangled be at full mast.[giggles]

    ReplyDelete

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