Thursday, January 29, 2009

Men-Flu!

A few facts every woman ought to know in case her hubby/BF - lo and behold - gets the flu:

1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not ‘just a cold’. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a ‘Mild Girly Sniffle’ – which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not ‘moan’ when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting ‘lady medicines’ like Lemsip, so don’t bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying ‘Diagnosis Murder’ it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke’s voice has remarkable soothing powers.

Source: http://mitchieville.com/9611/man-flu-the-facts/

6 comments:

  1. That is hilarious and so true.Brian gets Men-Flu a couple of times every winter.he's at death's door each time.

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  2. Poor fella! I sincerely do hope you pity him enough. I mean, men suffer soooo much when they have Men-Flu, don't they?

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  3. Anonymous4:12:00 PM

    Hell...is that what it's called man flu(GIGGLES) mine have man flu whenever he wants his way..Now I know how to treat it.

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  4. I have always known that men suffer more than women,and they are so stoic about it,so brave.
    Viruses are designed to attack men's constitutions more savagely.
    Whereas women are designed,by their very nature to slough these things off.And we're not intelligent enough to realize the gravity of the disease.

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  5. And of course we are all so selfish, cold creatures that don't see how men suffer when they are ill.
    I'll take a pill when I have a headache or some remedies when i have a cold.
    Men? Men groan and moan and refuse to take any advice from us.
    Well...

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